Raiders of the Lost Shark (2015) Reviews

• Acting skills not required

  roymcf-332-8571732015-06-28

  Being a lover of bad movies I wasted an hour or so of my life watching this garbage. It's so bad I had to warn other users to save themselves. I can't act either but the bunch of morons in this 'movie' are unbelievably terrible. I'd like to ask them one question.. 'Why?' ..... Did they set out to deliberately make a crap movie ? I honestly could make a better movie with my mates and my phone. Truly awful garbage, it makes Asylums movies look like multi million dollar blockbusters. Ghost Shark and Sharknado are positively genius compared to this 'movie', at least they have people, sometimes even 'stars' who can act a little, yes the scripts are bad but Asylum know it, I'd rather sit through Bermuda Tentacles again (and it was shocking) than have to watch these idiots . You have been warned.

  More

• When you want to stab yourself in the face...

  full_pirate_regalia2016-10-30

  I like trash movies. I like shark movies. So, being really spoiled by Asylum, I thought: Aww, come on, for just 5.99€, this can't be bad. Or... Can it? Well... Yes, it can. This is an amateur movie released on DVD. And it's so incredibly DUMB on so many Levels... There's minor things (Why is he leaving his socks on as he wants to join the hottie in the water?) to really, really, REALLY stupid stuff (Whats a scientist doing all alone in the middle of the woods?) and some stuff which will make you just shake your head (no blood in a decapitation scene, but when there's a flesh explosion they just take a bucket of badly done fake blood and throw it into the actors face)... The acting isn't present, I haven't watched it in English, but the German dub, so I can't say anything about the original voices, but the facial expressions are just... Ugh! German sincere is on the Level of "let a bunch of drunk people yell into an iPhone". Not even the music is any good. Uhm, have I mentioned the Shark is just a still picture? It's a PICTURE in front of a moving background. Yes, the thing can fly. For whatever reasons. Don't buy this. Don't rent this. Don't even STEAL this, it's not even worth that. The only good thing about this movie is: It's only 60-some minutes, and at least the end credits song isn't THAT bad. Still bad, but it's the only light at the end of the tunnel.

  More

• Not 'funny bad', just time wasting, very low budget, really bad movie.

  alvima-657802015-06-29

  First of all, the posters and description are highly deceptive - it is a very low budget movie ($320,000) and they could not afford any helicopters, airplanes or even water surfing. So none of the shots in the poster are there in the movie. All the special effects are created on someone's desktop computer (or possibly public library). The 'underwater' camera shots are taken in only a few feet deep water. Deep water 'shark' video clips have been taken from nature documentaries. Most people become 'victims' of shark when they are standing in shallow water or swimming a few yards from shore or a small boat (the only 'vehicle' or 'equipment' used in the movie). There are flabby, really bad actors in their swim suits. The previous credits of "director" include being a "camera-operator" in one production of the same company (which bears his name). You will have more fun in a high-school production. This is probably the worse movie I have ever seen.

  More

• Porn quality acting without the scenes worth watching

  clint-starrett2015-07-06

  If you look at the artwork for this movie, you think it sounds bad but might be good for a laugh. If you watch the trailer, you will be convinced that this movie will be terrible but watching the movie itself takes terrible to a new level. The characters in the movie are not developed and are weak. The storyline is absolutely hopeless. The acting is horrible. There is no horror in this movie even though they claim there is, I couldn't help but laugh about how bad the effects are. When I started watching it, I thought that maybe it was an amateur 80's porn movie by the quality of the camera work and the bad acting but as I let the movie go on it never got any better, but there were no erotic scenes. At one point, the story has you "concerned" for the actors in a boat that has gone out to the island, but when they cut to scenes from the boat you can see other boats in the background but there is no concern for their safety as I am pretty sure they weren't supposed to be there or be noticed but I am assuming time is money and they didn't want to wait for the other boats to move for the take. The movie does have a couple of really bad digs at itself proving that they knew it would be made when they wrote/filmed it. I wouldn't recommend anyone ever watch this movie. It is truly a waste of time.

  More

• Floppy Bellies and no Nudity

  arfdawg-12015-06-14

  The Plot. Four friends set out by boat for an idyllic vacation on a private, remote island. But unknown to them, a weaponized shark has escaped from a top secret military lab nearby, a shark that was genetically engineered with hate in its blood, and programmed to hunt any human within range. Now, these friends must band together to battle an all new brand of predator who will stop at nothing to remain at the top of the food chain. The movie has a 2014 copyright, but it looks as if it was filmed in the 80s and shelved. The story is idiotic and there are no special effects. Every victim just dips vertically into the water and then there's a cut. It's so freaking stoopid. Movies like this need a heavy does of T&A to keep interest and there is none. If overweight chicks in bikinis is your speed, by all means check it out. Seeing floppy bellies isn't fun for me and the movie stinks.

  More